Jive | Emo Dojo
Jive | Emo Dojo

Episode · 11 months ago

Marci Delmastro | bPolarArt

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

John talks with outsider artist Marci Delmastro | bPolarArt about bipolar disorder and discovering NFTs.

Topics include …

  • Selling her very first NFT the same day she minted it
  • “I can’t draw”
  • Giving up drawing
  • Poetry makes her manic
  • Outsider art movement
  • Manic vs. depressive art
  • Rejection Sensitivity Disorder
  • Getting the whole body into art
  • Various art mediums
  • Emo Dojo and The Bouba/kiki effect
  • Poetry as NFTs
  • Developing a Twitter persona

Marci can be reached through her Twitter bPolarArt account @marci_delmastro

Marci's NFTs can be purchased at opensea.io/bPolarARt

Hey, what's up? It's John. This is live from Emo Dojo. We are in the heart of the holidays right here in America. Christmas is coming up next week and man, let's get to it. I've got a killer interview today. This is an artist I reached out to. I would say a fine artist. Does abstract art. She does watercolor paint, oil paint and things like that. She also does jewelry and bead work and things like that, like folk card as well. She claims she's not a drawer. She does not draw, so we'll get into all these details. It's going to be a fun interview. Her name's Marcy. Her twitter account is be polar art. She's also be polar arts on open see if you want to look at her nftee and men. She's like one of us, straight up bipolar, and we had a great conversation, lots of good energy and man just well represents the bipolar kind of mindset at large. So I appreciate her time. I appreciate you for listening and we've got more great artist coming up next week. We've got a photographer next week and then I'm going to take a break for the remainder of the year and then I'll see you like two weeks after that. Cool, cool, all right, check it out. This is Marci live from Emo Dojo. Hello, this was marcy. Marcie, it's John. What's going on? Nothing, how are you? Cool, cool. Are you ready? Are you good to go? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm excited. Awesome. You wouldn't believe how many people I used to have. Guessed a lot, and then I stopped, because most people just don't show up at all on I never hear from them ever again. They totally go through. So yeah, now I'm glad you're here. Thanks for showing up and I think really appreciate your time. So we're going to have we're gonna have a good conversation. I love it. Yeah, we are, we are. So I have to tell you. Yeah, last night I finally got the gas fees were eighty dollars, and so I got my first items listed on open seas last night and I sold one piece. Oh, you can't. Congratulations. Are you kidding me? You listed and sold on the first day. I fucking listed and told them the first day. I I'm I was like, I'm shocked. Okay, seiously, I'm only shocked because your art is good. That might sound counterinsuite, if you know what I mean, but we've seen all the garbage that's been passing as quote unquote, our while they're doing the the multilevel, like PfP, the profile pick projects and things like that. That's originally what caught my attention and it made me manic for about all three or four weeks until I backed off and realized, wait, I'm not into that. Let me back up and just do what I like to do. And then, yeah, so I like to podcast and I like to podcast with people that actually make art. That to me looks like art that it's established. You have a voice, you have a talent, like I can identify when I see a piece of work, I look at yours, I'm like, that's from the same person, that's from the same person, and then I want to know who that person is. So that's fucking great. I'm so proud of you for doing that and it's really like, I don't know, a God send for our audience to hear that this does happen. You can actually go sell your art and wow, that's stunning. Congratulations. Thank you. I'm I'm so excited. I had a total anxiety attack last night when I was because the first two times when I listed, I brought the the...

...guests beat down really low, thinking that it just would take like a day for my things to be posted right. But so I love. So I lost like thirty bucks, which, you know, that's a lot of money. So I was like petrified last night that I was going to lose the money. So it was like I had like just a super anxiety attack and I was just like I had to like it was like you know what it's like. Fai No, my heart starting to beat fast just thinking about it exactly. I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God, and then like thank God it went through. That is so petrified. That is awesome. Plus it must be so uplifting too, because it's really rewarding. You're not playing a game, you don't have a development team or a freaking road map. You're a true artist who clearly has been working at your craft for a long time, who found the hidden door into the metaverse and Bam, it's worked for you. So I think that gives you a lot of confidence moving forward now. I don't know, I've seen sometimes there's been other artist on this show, in fact recently that they're killer artist. They've been at it. They caught a wave and then it kind of slows down. So I'm always like, okay, everyone, hold on tight, there's waves. It just going to keep moving. And Oh my God, so you started off right on a wave. That's amazing. You know, you had an had a guest on Mom Huh. Yeah, yeah, methods of mine. That's epic thunder chat. Yeah, and she, she and I have developed a friendship and she brought something to my attention. She's I can't remember what it was, but it's basically like it's like a people with Adhd oftentimes, and and I have adhd also, because I know you do too, yes, where it's like you you're so afraid to fail and it's like you're always mind reading, like, Oh my God, I'm going to fail. Why don't I have it on the top of my head? But basically it's just like I one of the things that I'm really really working on in my therapy is like slow down. Just because you don't do something in a week doesn't need your mean you're a failure. So this is going to be really, really, really taxing on me. Yeah, emotionally to try to not be, because I have a friend who like fit, that's how I found out about this, who like had really, really great success at it, and so it's going to be really difficult for me to constantly put the brakes on. And it's weird because, like I've never really I mean, I've been on twitter forever, but I never used it right say. And it's weird because, like I've been out there, like you know, stratten my stuff. I shouldn't say stratten, because that would mean that I'm more confident. I was out there, like you know, saying Hey, look at my art, and it was you. You would think that it wouldn't be work to, you know, spend hours a day on twitter trying to get people feel like guys, yeah, it's so much work, much fucking work, and it's believe. Yeah, and it's not our work. We're creative people. I was just thinking about this on twitter this morning. Is Matter of fact, like Da Vinci and Rembrandt and all those fuckers. They didn't worry about building a community, they didn't worry about the utility, and there aren't. They got to focus on being art and nowadays it seems like and it's so awkward because most artists are, I don't know, maybe I'm stereotyping here, but we seem to be more introverted and we speak through our art. So when we have to like speak up and say words on twitter,...

...it feels so awkward. And you don't if you haven't if you don't have a voice, and like cut some of my accounts are cranky voices because they are political accounts, so I have to like change my whole voice and move over into the like nft twitter, and I don't like the weird languages all those crypto people use anyway. So it's just a really weird thing to sell. So I think you're doing great. Like we follow each other on twitter and your banters back and forth it seems very genuine, very authentic and very real. You know what I mean, because you share your express your ups and your downs, and I think that's important for people here. It's not all ups, for sure, especially for for folks like us, when we are driven by the next new thing with the whole Adh. They's like, Oh, whe's the shiny new thing? Oh, then you back up and look backwards. Am I doing good enough to do it right and my what? What the fuck everyone? And that starts moving so fast because, like you said, if you've got a friend or an associate who is already successful but now they're in your atmosphere, you compare yourselves to the people in your atmosphere and that that's even more pressure. And now it's the holidays and I've told people on in the show before that a lot of people with mental health problems don't have a lot of money because the history of either roller coaster jobs and or lack of lack of treatment or expensive treatment or whatever. So we just don't have a lot of money. So when normal people, especially the quote unquote starving artists, show up into the NFT world, it's a fucking mind blow and it's like, okay, it's five dollars, sir, Oh, I'm by the way, tax is a hundred and twenty, and like what are you star kidding? It's mind blowing and you really have to pick and choose what you're doing and how to organize your art the way you want it presented, and then also not make the mistake of deleting something and find out, oh, that cost gas or I don't want to get into a gas conversation. But yeah, this the administrative fees are scary and it is a break the bank thing and it's fucking Christmas time. So Geez, it really gets stressful. Yeah, I would. I couldn't believe it. When I saw that it was eighty dollars last night, I was like Holy Shit, yeah, because I've been waiting to jump on it, you know, and I was also afraid. I had asked you, as you know, once you do your listing, if you have to pay a fee every time after that. So I was like, you know, AH, was I got scared to list my second item because I'm like, okay, is it going to cost anything? And then once it didn't, I was like, all right, you listen, and I could. I couldn't sleep last night. I was like I was like up sow late. I was like, Oh my God. Well, there's a poor person's way to solve that problem, and it's just don't put very much money in your wallet. So basically, if you try to do something, yeah, if you don't have enough to pay the gas, it'll just kick it back and say you don't have enough to pay the gas. I'm like, Oh okay, well, that gas is too damn much then. Yeah, it's funny, you know what? And and you know what, my working class ask. Okay, I got two hundred dollars right better, and I need a real gas bank account before someone peel straight up like, I need real gas because I got to go to my real job to help pay for this little hobby of mine that I can't explain to anybody. Yeah, I just like so, you know, it was really good. I mean I just it was. It was. I was so happy last night that I was able to list like that right there, and it's because I have a really hard time figuring things out. Yeah, and it's more complex that it should be. The user interface right now for all the systems, for both object and tezos and OPENSEA and etherium. There's a lot of steps to people have to get through and you really have to be single minded to make your way through it. Yeah, yeah, but once you did it, and you did and man, you came to the other side that. So let's back up a bit. Let's talk about both your bipolar and your art, because I'm not as fascinated by people's bipolar because obviously I have it. Most of our audience does too.

So you don't have to get too nitty gritty, but tell us things like when did you find out and how did that intersect with art in your life? Where you artistic before you found out you had bipolar or vice versa? You know, things like that. Yeah, Um, so I think I've been creative since I was a child. I when I was a child, I was always good at creativity. I I've never been good at like drawing, like technical stuff. Yeah, like, but like, for instance, I played the saxophone for a little while. What then then? You know, I just like during high school and stuff, I like I was in all remedial classes, and I joke about this because I think it's funny, but really it's not funny. Like I at that time I was too stupid to tell that it was in remi class. I don't think so. Sometimes the idea of intelligence, I think it's just a misalignment of our intelligence. Is Like we're intelligence in like outer space ways and they just don't fit into simpleton schools exactly. Yeah, I feel so. Yeah, so I um, since pretty much, you know, most of my life have been creative and after I got into high school I had no idea what to do with my life and it wasn't really something like that was impressed upon like where I grew up at. I grew up just outside of the south side of Chicago and was very working class. And you really didn't, you didn't think about your futures, just like you know, you just you just solved along and whatever happened happened. But I was just like, you know, I need to, I need to take some art classes at my community college. Nice, good move. And Yeah, and I I I've never been able to drop I like, I love, like ceramics and sculpture, and I avoided drawing classes at all cost unless it was something that was a prerequisite for another class. Why was that? Do you know? You do recall why you were like apprehensive about taking the drawing portion? Well, I've never been able, I I just can't translate the world in from d you know. Yeah, and like when I was in Dr One class, I was like always petrified, you know, that like the student next to me was going to be looking at my art or my drawing and be like, Oh my God, their girl can't draw her shit. Yes, okay, and I really and I really can't draw. I mean I've found ways around it. There's Times where you will look at my artwork and be like, oh, she can draw, what is she talking about? But in general now I can't draw and I never enjoyed the process of trying to translate the three dimensional world into this, you know, flat world. And I went to school for a while. I ended up getting an associate space but four years got it and associate degree, which was Major. Yeah, and definitely was dating. I was dating somebody who really really pushed me to do more and I by the time I graduated, I became very annoyed by the art community because you know the art communities, they always they always professed to be like, Oh, I'm not part of the establishment. No, you may not be part of the large establishment, but you still are part of an establishment. Yeah,...

...a smaller establishment, which is the art world. And it just disgusted me and I stopped making artwork until it around around two thou I started doing different creative things like making jewelry and learning how to sell and but in my in my mind, I was always creating artwork. So I always I always think like you don't have to pick up a pen or anything, you can just be a creative, you can just be an artist strictly in your head, for sure. So so I, you know, went on to study for my that's rest degree, and I thought I wanted to be a sociologist and that that just didn't work out, and then I started writing poetry and I loved it and I got some work published. But writing makes me manic because when I go to bed, when I go to bed, I can't stop writing poetry in my head. So I had to put the brakes on it because, you know, a lot of bipolar people they like they like mania. I think it's awful. I don't like the feeling that like I'm, you know, always like, you know, drink a pot of qualfee. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I think a lot of and there's the whole spectrum of Hypomania to mania, and I think a lot of times people just throw the word mania out there when they're probably just capple mania because, frankly, yeah, there's it is because I have bipolar shy. So it's just it like Hypo mania is just such a it's such a weird word. And so it's a stupid word. Yeah, it's too many syllables, right. But yeah, so I get all agitated and then I start ruminating and I think that does that happen to you when you start doing poetry, like in the evening or something? Yeah, H, yeah, and I can't go to sleep. So so, years ago I shut it all and it makes me very sad because it was a very deliberate intellectual process for me, because what I would basically shave that piece of poetry down to like a sliver, and about this. Hopefully I can recite this properly, so that the one my favorite poem, that's one of the ones that is published. What it's called. Even hope was a scoundrel. Even hope was a scoundrel. Hunger is pain, this strain to feed their face. When you read me empty, I betray shave. And the thing is is, you know, as bipolar people and adhd people, where used to like superfluous shit just like flying all over the place. Yeah, it's like it's like, you know, like you'd everything in our life is like opening a bag of Potato Che yeah, just flies all over the place. That's so funny because, you know, people think we say slightly odd things or maybe talk a little fast, but man, if they only knew what was going on in our head when all that was coming up. It's like, Oh, yeah, that's the edited version already, like you can't imagine what's happening in there. That's that's wild. Yeah, yeah, so, so it's interesting because my poetry always was just the shaved down version of everything, which is not the way that I live my life because it just that takes so much effort. But the intellectual process of making poetry is unlike UN of is unlike any other thing for me, because I can't really do very much conceptual art because for me conceptual art really requires a lot of like planning and in and ability to...

...draw, at least maybe in my conceptual art. Sure mind. Yeah, so, yeah, so I think it's a real shame that I had to cut poetry out of my life. Oh, but what I was saying was, so I stopped making art forever. Yeah, I just became I was just disgusted by the art community. I'm like, you guys all professed to be these you know, Oh, I'm so different. And well, yeah, you're different from the larger community, but you still have a little community and you're just, you know, a bunch of sheep inside of that community. To Look Click, Yep. Yeah, yeah, and then I just, like Gott, I keep making art, loook in my head and I had to say, you know, sewing, I don't, I you're not important. Making jewelry, you're not important. I had a really, really edit my creative endeavors down because I really I didn't want I didn't want to be in my what's really, really important to me in my art to be I didn't want it to interfere with that. Basically, yeah, yeah, what ended up being left what was important. I you know, in my mind at least, the kind of gewelry I was doing, you know, putting beats together. Yeah, design, it's design, but it's it's not. And so is sewing. It's design, but there's there's an element of it that doesn't doesn't exist, that exists and what I consider art. Mean there's a fine line between what's craft, I mean, what's happy, and what's our yeah, no, I see what you mean. I used to go to like folk art museums, so they really blur the lines there between. You know, clearly it seems like art to me, like, I don't. It seems like in every form, like bead work particularly, and jewelry, things like that. I don't see how they're not art. Yes, I agree. So, yeah, it's at the same but at the same time there's just something different about it. Yeah, well, and it's more and you're maybe beat because you're creating something that has utility where other art doesn't. necessarily. We've talked about utility a lot. But also I used to watch my grandmother needle point and Crochet and things like that. So there must be something meditative or hypnotic or whatever about just continually moving your fingers like people that self stimulate on the autism spectrum, you know, that kind of motion. There's definitely something to rocking in your chair and and creating, especially if it's art. But yeah, for sure, jewelry, definitely art. That sounds neat, yes, which it's. I did it for a while and I just needed that more. I just really needed what I consider, you know, I don't adds, hard to explain because I don't really never really put my finger on it. But so I put all that stuff aside and I started drying because, you know, I don't have the money to have a sculpture studio. I don't have some money to have, you know, to take ceramic classes and sculpture classes. So I said, I I need to, I you need to be creative and I said screw it, I'm just going to start drying. And do you do you know, a art side, outsider art or boot art. Sometimes it even raw art. Know, okay, tell what. You would enjoy it. You would enjoy that. So art side, outsider are really basically is like not part of the establishment in general, self self educated, not self educate, but self taught, and it's like folk are. It oftentimes lacks that, you know,...

...that ability to draw. It's very loose and very nonconformist. For sure. It's so, so outsider art. When I discovered it I was like, Oh my God, this is this is me. Like, yeah, it sounds like me right off the bat. I don't have to do draw good to be an artist. Yeah, that's right, I don't. You know, I don't have to, you know, be able to look at a house and draw it, you know, perfectly, like it's you got to look it up outside. I'm all over and we're done, for sure. I'm definitely check that up, because you're doing it right, because if you've done if followed the path of the outsider here, but you clearly have a voice people. I'll put the links to your work in the show notes here for the PODCAST, but when they go to your work it's clear that you have a voice. So it doesn't really matter if what school, where, what, where you got your knowledge, your information from, but you've somehow coalesced it into one solid voice and that's really commendable because that's that's not easy unless you had a vision to kind of work towards. Well, and you know what my vision is? My vision is that it chained, you know, as that I don't have a vision. It's I actually shouldn't say that I have a vision now, probably for the first time, because I also went through, you know, go through different stages with my r I'll I don't know that I ever have like one one voice, you know. I if you really look like at my years of my artwork, you'll be like really, really surprised at the different styles. I. Yeah, that's how artists do too. Yeah, I went to a Picasso Exhibit in Chicago Several Years Back and I was just amazed that the different styles. That, yeah, always different periods, for sure, Oh my God, and you would never know that one was from, you know, one period was that they were from the same artist, right, and so I've always really related to that, like he did ceramics and he did sculpture and you know, Blah, Blah Blah. But I like the different periods they go through. In fact, I have a background in music and most musical artist put out a record, put out an album. Takes them like a year or so to make the whole thing. But and during the year they come up with their new look, maybe a new album art, new logo or something. Sometimes change a band member. Then they too are on that for two or three years, or, you know, at least a good year and a half. So you don't see them for three more years. So every album cycle it's something new, and I think artists should think the same way. It's like you don't have to get stuck in one thing. Yeah, you don't have to get stuck in one thing to be your style. In fact, you can always go revisit your old style that you like, you want to like. Why not? It's your style you like. You have some signature moves here. I hope I'm not jumping ahead too much, but you have some signature stuff with this razor scratching that I think is really unique. So let me try to describe it to the listener. So, Marci draws in vivid colors. What are you drawing on there? Is that campus or paper? Paper? Okay, it says paper. But so that leads to my next question about to ask. So it it's paint on paper. And then between blocks of bold colors are I didn't know what they were at first because they just look like dividing marks that's kind of synchronized like a yeah, they just compartmentalize the colors evenly in interesting way, and you look closer, and then I had to read the description. So those are razor scratch marks in the paint between the various colors. And how did you come to that idea? A, Marcy, why are you playing with razors and how are...

...you not cutting through the paper? Okay, it's actually pain, is it? Yeah, Um, I'm not a good painter either. On yeah, it's pain, but it had interesting. I think probably has a similar feeling. But but my best start comes out of meeting when I'm happy, like I'm not a good artist when I'm I'm depressed. But you might look at my art and think I was oppressed when I made it because I just I always think that. I always feel like sadness hides, hides inside two eyes, even when, yeah, yeah, yeah, when it's not there, I always see it in totally. That's why I think people that lose their jobs have a hard time finding a new job, because that look is in their face and that essence is in the resumes they send out. It's everywhere, the energy is everywhere. So to your point, I agree, I think. But to judge Your own art as when you're more depressed, as less than I don't know, maybe you should put some up. You know what I mean? No, I don't know. I do, I do, and it's I don't see it as less then, it just my best artwork truly comes when I'm happy and and I always know it because I get this little thought in my head and it says, if I died tomorrow, I would make I would miss making artwork. Nice. Yeah, whenever that thought POPs into my head it's a pure none bipolar moment. It's like I'm healthy in this moment, I'm not Maddic, I'm not depressed and it is the most beautiful feeling. Yeah, is that weird? It's like is this normal. Can I capture this in a bottle? This is what I want to feel. Yeah, and so. So whenever that thought goes off in my head, that's when I'm making my best artwork. But now I don't have shame for any of my artwork. All my artwork goes up and but tonight I to your point. I think it's also important when you make happy art, like when you are happy and you make the art that you like to see. It becomes kind of like a self supporting cycle then because when you see the art you've produced in the art that cells, it's like, Oh yeah, that's I made that one. I was happy and look, it made the world happy, someone bought it and now you benefit in a monetary way. That's really great. Yeah, but I you know my my depressed art too. I mean I don't I don't shun any of my art from the world. It's all out there. I don't hide. Just a quick reminder. You listening to Emo Dojo. Please leave us kind comments or review if you like what you're listening to. This is marcy at be polar art on twitter. How do you maintain your expectations? I know that's a big thing with people like adhd anxiety by polar our emotions get the most of us on any given day. Hole, my God, nobody's buying my shit, like I haven't sold anything yet. I'm like, I've go I go up and down, it, up and down, but you know, I have a pragmatic thoughts about it. So I'm like, I'm not really worried about that. My whole thing is protecting intellectual property for my kids and things like that in the future. Yeah, so, but I can only imagine if I sold one thing, I could just feel my heart start and beat right now here comes to the mania. It's like, Oh my God, if my life is going to change. So how do you? How do you keep that in control? I don't yeah, Fu Yeah, that's why I like to hear so the things that I'm trying to find. That the thing that our friend epics under cat right, who's a licensed professional of this.

Yeah, it called rejection sensitive Dystoria, and think as she brought that to my attention, because it really that is what I'm working on. Is exactly what you're just saying, that hasn't, think, it in control, because if I don't sell a piece for another week, I'm going to be devastated and that's not rational. No, no, so what's it called? Let me say it again. I'm going to say it for the I have bots that go through our text and say words that we speak. So it's called rejection, sensitivity dysphoria. Yep, wow, that's cool. I'm going to look that up too, because, I mean, I could put those three words together right away and I can get it so that you know when you brought that to my attention. I and it's something that people would adhd have often because we were, you know, we're used to being rejected, YEP, and so we're constantly mind reading you know, Oh, what did I do wrong? Even when we did yeah, they wrong. We're used to doing it for survival sake. Even though, you know, we're generation next. Were kind of middle age. Now we don't really have to do it as much to survive, we still do it, and then it now, counterintuitively, often wrecks our chances survival because it causes us to lose relationships and jobs by trying to forecast what people are always thinking. When I was at home with fourteen year old crazy kid, it worked well. Yes, was Mrs Cleaver, very, very well, you know, just friendly to everybody and lived and I was able to eat. But as a grown up now it doesn't serve US well. It's always you know what happened. Why did I sell anything? And I think the big thing is, especially with twitter, I was doing some research the other day about spotify, for example, back to the music thing, and I was reading article where at the time the article was written and if the scales up, it's you know, I'm sure it's even more now, but there were two million songs on spotify that nobody had ever listened to, not even once, not even the person who uploaded the song. So devastating, right. So I'm just imagine how many pieces of art are not even being seen. So and a lot of times you can tell, oh well, it's not that they don't like me, it's like they don't even see me, which is a different exacting. And then you have to like, Oh man, but I'm an artist, but now I have to be a promotional whore. How do I do the both? I don't want to be a promotional whore, but you have to like, AH, fuck yeah, so you get in this whole thing where you have to wear fortunately, I guess we're on the Internet, so we can hide behind our avatars and we could say things a little more snarkily if we want to. We could like develop a slightly different personality because it is somewhat anonymous. But still it doesn't it's not a job I signed up for. I didn't sign up to be a little fucking meme face thing to just get people to listen to a podcast. But yet here we are, so twitter. Actually, this whole universe really fits me really, really well because, like, I mean, I used to sell my artwork on Ebay and and I've tried. I tried one time, like a gallery exhibit and be like, you know, when I have to interact with people, I'm just like I can't do it right. Yeah, and but, but, like consitter like allows me to dance around naked, basically. Yep, and and I love it. Like yeah, it is the it's like the perfect thing for me. You know, it's kind of like a medication. It's like, thank God I live in the age of medication, because I would have been institutionalized. You know, that's an eighteen hundreds. Oh yeah, lobotomized. They would have sent me out literally on a back of a scapegoat exactly and so so right now I feel like, Holy Shit, I have this...

...opportunity to be healthy, like to do really really fits me. Well, Oh yeah, we talked about that. I think a lot of people's, let's call mental problems come from a simple misalignment of what they do in their day to day. If you get up too early because it had a set alarm and you got to drive in so fucking traffic and go sit in a box with people wearing polyester and talk on a phone or do some just bullshit work, of course you're going to get depressed. If you're meant to be out there creating and working with your hands and thinking with your mind and being in nature, then that's what you should be doing. I'm not I don't know how to get everybody from where they are to where they need to be, but, ma'am, that's that's a huge part of it and it sounds like you're trying to. You're starting to find that, because you're right twitter. When you find the community that you can chat with and talk to share ideas with, they help promote you, they validate your art and then they help start selling your art. That is magical because you can do that from anywhere. You can literally live in a uni bomber shack in the forest if you wanted to do for a season. You can go get a different perspective on a beach one day. Or, you know, like in the artist season, you just get inspired and just go do other things because once you've got that that kind of flow coming through of purchases or whatnot. But I don't see, how do you do that? Like that's where I'm not really sure about how the art world works. So say you've got fifty pieces. Now what happens when you sell them all? You get famous enough, you sell your pieces for what you ask for them and now they're trading on the secondary market. Cool. Are you going to start making a new piece a day? Are you just like, hmm, maybe the next piece I make I'm going to make fifty copies of, or how do you envision how that's going to work? Yeah, I don't want to do copies. I really want to stay one one, you know, one to one. So just raise your prices and you get more famous. That's that's a good way to go. Yeah, I really don't want to do copies. I have, I'm sure, well over a thousand pieces that I've made. You're set for a good idea. So, yeah, I said my artwork. So I keep a lot of it. I've been making artwork for I'm I when I sit down and make artwork, I just make a shitload of artwork, like because I don't enjoy drawing and because I'm very like spontaneous with my artwork, I can make a piece and you know too minute. Oh, so, it's like it's comes through you, like you have a vision and it comes through you. So you don't you're not in figuring out how to make it, you're just trying to get it out as fast as you can before you lose the dream kind of thing. Well, it's just the way I look at it is it's like movement, like like it's my body dancing, basically. Oh, yeah, I don't really. Yeah, like, I don't really. I don't very, very, very few pieces of artwork that I think about before I make it. I just sit down and I just do whatever the hell my body wants me to do. That is awesome. I'm kind of the opposite. I play the drums and I think it prevents me from painting more because when I get that that need to express myself bodily. It's straight to the drum set. So I keep thinking like how do I make a drum art and ft all, yeah, you know what, you totally can do that and ye know what, that's that's a really, really, really good way. When I sit down to make artwork, I'm basically I'm basically sitting down to play the drums, but I'm not. I'm playing the drums as a person who's never played the drums before who's like trying to get some anger out. So I'm like, yeah, just just just like banging the you know, Bang on the drums. That's basically what I do when I sit down. It's just it's just unadulterated fun, like I just take whatever material I like. That material to speak for herself. I have...

...really, really in the last year to gotten into watercolor, which is so weird for me. Watercolor does its own thing and I love it's it's close to poetry as I can get with my artwork. I love watching what the watercolor does. It has its own mind, it speaks, it's only which and and you just have to be there to watch what it wants to say and to like it. Guides you. WHOA. I love it. Yeah, cool, it's like it really is like a dance. You can, you could suggest, but it's still going to do pretty much what it wants to do too, with what you suggested. Totally Nice. Watercolor is I never knew it watercolors so hard. Isn't it all hard? When you really like for people, I guess, that are intense. We want to do it cool and right and interesting. The moment you starts like, Oh, this shit's a lot harder than it looked at the dumb museum, you know, when people are like you looking at that, go, that's stupid. Anybody could do that. Well, fucking try. Go home and try to do everything I say. Is Stupid. Right, exactly, exactly, like, like. But, but seriously, though, with watercolor it is harder because you there is more planning involved. Yeah, I'll just get away from you. Huh, totally, but I love I love having a creative partner with and and the watercolor is my dance partner. It's it's it's basically, you know, it leads. It leads me wherever it wants me to go and I have to constantly interpret where it wants to go. I love it. It's a beautiful, beautiful relationship. Is Your profile pit currently on open? See your watercolor work. It's a late space with a big blue eye. Yeah, that's beautiful. That came out so great. Thank you. Oh God, it's one of my favorite pieces. Yeah, so, but that that that's actually more of a controlled that's much more I haven't really begun like putting my watercolors out there because they're very, you know, they fit more into like an abstract and they're there. They're less unique, but I need to give them an opportunity because I'm not they might be too traditional for the nft community. But now that I can list for free and I don't have to spend eight right hours, yeah, list, Yep, I'm going to put what I want out there and you know, yeah, it's just let it all out, and I think that's a lot of the ways. So, for example, were like generation x age and I grew up on metal and it's really interesting to me to see young kids, the youngest of young kids, rocking out to iron maiden and the Scorpions, not ironically, and I'm like, AH, so good, good art comes back around. So it to that extent, I think the kids that are like hooked up on profile pick projects this week. By January they'll be like who? What's The dopest? Like, fine, are out there and then even know, what did you say? What? I don't know what that is. What's that? What? I didn't what did you say? They're hooked up on because I didn't. I don't know what that is. Oh, profile pick projects. I'm writing it down because I don't know what that is. It's all the it's all the PP yeah, it's all the monkeys and the the apes, the punks, all that stuff. Well, that's that won't be happening for Manny. The iterative art, where they take one, one piece of art and decorate it tenzero different ways and then call it a day. That won't be happening to life. It won't be happening in my house. I'm exacting right, and I think the kids will realize that too. I think most art buyers will realize that there's just buy one of one stuff.

Don't buy into all these because everything else it seems like a multilevel marketing scheme, because all they do is hype up their own little project and if the hype dies, their price drops. I mean it's pretty clear. You know, I tried to explain this to a friend and she said it sounded like a Ponzi scheme. And Yeah, that's another word for I'm Ponzi schemes are typically illegal. This part's not as much illegal as more like a avon or am way or some shit like that. Yes, but you know what, wow, when I saw that that nft exhibit in New York, yeah, this is this isn't going away. This literally is the future. Yes, fuck, yeah, yeah, and and and the beautiful thing is is I didn't think people were buying I don't want to say real art, because my mind has changed on that quite a bit since I've been really looking at a piece. But I'm so grateful that there's people out there that want to buy actual creative work. Yeah, there's a difference for sure. Like, well, I don't know, experienced Aart or, I like to say, people that have a voice, like if you look at artist, could say, oh, that's a Rembrandt, you know, or that's a marcie right, whatever it's like. Those are the ones I'm into. If I could tell a computer made it and there's tenzero different versions of the same thing, I'm like, I don't care. That's not what I'm doing. That's not it's artistic, yes, but it's not. It's a I don't know what is it? An investment scheme, basically, because if you're going to hold on the cryptocurrency anyway, isn't it more fun to just go put your crypto into art and let it go up and down and value while you still have the same amount of cryptocurrency? Yeah, like, I don't like. I love the idea of somebody else buying a piece of artwork from someone that bought my artwork so they can make money. But basically, at the same time, I don't like. I want people to buy my artwork as they like my artwork. I don't want them to buy it so they can turn around and southlet like cool, fine, I'll get ten percent royalties, but that's that's not what it's about. Like, yeah, yeah, I if I decide to start buying NFT's, I'm not. I'm going to be buying shit that I like, for sure, and I'm for sure going to. In fact, I think that's pretty much what I'm going to do when I sell any is just buy stuff that I like. Yeah, and I mean the intention. To me it's just so like toxic to buy a piece of artwork so you can resell it like it just it's just, yeah, that's a sense. It's offensive to me a little bit. To me too, I get it, but only because I'm really too. There's like gamers out there, and I think what we're seeing as a lot of gamers and Crypto people converging into the art space and they realize they look, we can use crypto and game off I art, and some of the artists are like, you creepy, don't game of find my art. And you know what the thing is, I I am. I'm not sentimental about my art. No, no, I shouldn't it. I'm very sentimental about my art. But when I when, basically when someone buys my artwork, as long as I have like a digital copy of what I've made, if you want to go destroy and the ocean or burn it, sure, sure, that's basically your prerogative. And like, like, I did my part. I made the artwork, I did what my body needed to do. I have a picture. Yeah, you got it out, a piece of I love. And you know what, you can do whatever whatever the hell you want with my artwork. Rip It up, you know. Yeah, seriously, like whatever you want to do is bitch way. But at the same time, like I want someone to buy my NPT's because they like my artwork. Sure, if they want to buy it because they think they can resell it, that's that's that's a huge compliment. They think it's marketable in the long run. Yeah,...

...there's some subtle essence in there about like, Oh, this is beautiful, this has to be worth something someday. But most people that are into that part of the art world and they're going to have to look at it every day and I don't think they're looking at it thinking like that's my bank account going up. They're looking at it because they like the image. Right. Yeah, yeah, I think so too. And and and so, you know, I keep looking at these different things, like you have like museums, you know, and I team museums and stuff, and it really is like it's yeah, it's it's a marvelous way to experience our and and it I had to really, really adjust my mind and I'm like wow, this is really something special, like it's not just like I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon because I want to make money, but like this is really cool, actual thing. It, like so many people say, it's life changing and it's not a cliche. It literally can be life changing. Yeah, and and there and there's not many of those moments in life period. No, no, and I think most people with mental problems would do their selves a favor by at least trying, like to like we've talked about it here today and we've talked about our other previous episodes. It's kind of a pain in the ASS to get involved. I would say it probably cost about two hundred bucks, just roughly speaking. If you had two hundred bucks, then you can get a wallet, then you can get you know, buy some tezos or by some eith. and Are you going to get your name? Are you going to go get an ethan name when gas is low? Used to go get your eth name. I didn't even know about that. Yeah, you see all these springs. So there's a lot of goofballs on twitter running around displaying their eth names, which it just a flex at this point, but I think in the long run it's going to be really valuable to have. So when they I mean, for for my name, definitely like manic. I listened to manic episode. I was so jealous when I saw that his name was that he used manic. But I don't usually I don't. I don't, I don't. I'm not fortunate and to to be more manic than I am depressed, because there's definitely, definitely just different, but I'm not mad. So it's it didn't fit me. But the name be polar. I didn't want to be bipolar because it sounds stupid somehow, but be polar. When I thought that I was just like, Oh my God, I love that. So yeah, I guess I'm going to have to look into that because I don't want my I don't want that name to be taken. That, that name. It's me right, right. And so it's only like five bucks, but it's five bucks plus gas. It's five dollars plus gas. So whatever. Gas is lower now than it has been the last couple weeks. Yeah, quite a bit. I keep a gas meter APP on my laptop over here. I could just see it's one hundred and fifty six right now. So it's pretty high actually today. But I'll send you the link. It's a Ns dot domains, I think, is where you go and you just type in the domain you want and it'll get you dot eth name. So that way, if you have if people want to send you some Eith in the future, you listen. Instead of that long string of characters, you just tell them it's be polar art dot Eve and they're like Oh, cool, okay, that's really cool. I'm yeah, I thank you for bringing that up because I honestly I really like my name to be polar I bought a couple of them because I bought like my real name. So maybe you get del Mastro Dot Eve, you know, for your professional world or so you could have like a semi anonymous or autonomous online presence and still get paid in Eith in the real world, or you know, depending on what gas is and how much you're into that stuff. But I got some Tz ones to I got my name and DOT Tz and dot Eith, so good for branding for sure. That's awesome. I'm so glad you brought that up, because you know how like when you so, okay, so when you like build a website, you know, I like you have to buy your domain name and then it like every year you have...

...to like who we knew it. Is it like that? With yeah, they're both like that. I think I bought a couple of years for my dot heath name because they're only five. It's five bucks a year. So I'm like, well, I don't want to have to pay gas. Okay, next year. I'll pay gas in two or three years and I think the gas problem will be resolved in a year, in a year or two anyway. So yeah, so I'm like, I do it withcom names to I'm always just find it something weird. It's worth ten or twelve bucks to put on the name just to see just a dream for a year that you have a project that you might work on. I know, I I like your the Emojojo. I love that. Oh Yeah, yeah, that ended up because I used this show used to be called bipolar style and nobody would share it on the Internet because nobody wants to be associated with bipolar anything. So I just say we're like the most amazing people I know. Fuck it a but you know, Dojo works out like for search engines. It's amazing, like when people search email do joe, it's like the first two pages of search engine. So I'll deal with that. I mean, yeah, I love that. I didn't get it's easy to remember. It's sort of coming out of the mouth. Yeah, it's sort of cute for younger folks to like what is it? And it's not too Dorky. So I can't I'm not afraid to put it on a t shirt as an adult. Yeah, it's very let's see, I've such a feeling comes from my tongue when I say it's a very. It's like eating like like a vanilla. Yeah, it hits like this very. It is very like saw very boba. Have you ever heard of just a thing called the Kiki Boba effect? No, you would like this psychologist, study and scientist, brain, scientist. So there's a thing called the Kiki Boba effect and the idea is, like words like Kiki, what do you imagine? You imagine the spiky look in shape Boba. Would you imagine kind of a softer, Mu millfulous look in shape? So, yeah, there's a real thing there for certain words. That's why I'm really particular about yeah, about words, and about the shapes of letters too. So I'm really in a typography and yeah, that's sort of stuff. So I'm like, let's get the typography right and like Oh yeah, Emo, do you know what. I totally wanted to do that with my art, but I don't know how. I mean with my be polar, but I don't really know how to and it's not terribly important, but at some point, just for the you know, make me happy and burning and everything, I want to have like actual, you know, the lettering and everything. Oh Yeah, for sure, we should sit on and have a call like this once with a screen share, and I could show you how to do it. It's super easy. Okay, I really want to turn my poetry that I've written into en ty Yep, are you? Do you have to use a unique front or? Nope, not a bit. I would, because I'm me and I'm into typography and I could show you what I would do and how to do it real quick on like a Google Doc. But okay, I saw some goofball with some I'm not going to judge other people's poetry. It wasn't for me. Let's just say that dude was selling poetry for two and three hundred bucks a page and it was just freaking not even currier it. Maybe, maybe Ariel wasn't even hell. VEDICA wasn't even a fancy, nice funt it was just an average ass font and I looked at his page. He sold like twelve different poems and they were short poems, like I'm into poetry. In fact, when I do my photography, I'm going to put high couh next to each one, because Hiku helps me because it's confined. I don't have to think on it all day and I know that if it sucks, I could do one tomorrow. Yep, I think you should to put poetry with some of your pictures. If you could figure out a way not to have its flickr switch, I would. Yeah, I would like to do that, like, or do you have poetry already? Right? Yeah, see, I bet if you...

...put some of that up and it made you money, your brain would all of a sudden fix itself with a yeah, okay, that's fine. Or maybe just go supermanic like cocaine. Like more poetry, more poetry. We're making money. There's there's a girl that I found yesterday who I think you might have retweeted something from her. She's really young and she's real fightety, like I am. That was the word I was looking for. Oh Yeah, fist just too clearly has bipolar one. But I yeah, I'm very flighty, but I really are you to check her out. I'll send it to you. Okay, cool, because her personality, like she just lays it out there in the way that I'm starting to lay it out there, like just personality wise, where I'm just like, you know, I'm just like if you can't, yeah, myself under the rug, like I can't hold it anymore. Yeah, if you got it, just let it out. Twitter is the place to let it out. Of any place, twitter is the place to let it out because you're not a malicious human right, you're not a troll out there starting trouble with people, Talking Shit on their threads or anything like that. You're just speaking your mind, and your mind is like a solid, virtuous thing. So, yeah, I think it's fine and it comes up. It's not that I have to let it out, because I have, you know, I do have people I can let that shit out with. It said. I it's it's said. I'm I'm the differences that I'm. I can do it now and I and I don't have everybody around me like this girls little crazy. WHO's she trying to be? WHO's she trying to be like? I it's cool because, you know, once you, because I don't know anybody and I knew one person with bipolar, like in the flesh, and she was like a horrible person. I know some of y'all would bipolar, please go fix yourselves, because you give the rest of us a really bad name. But but so it's really fun to just like, like there's one that I became friends with and I was like, I can imagine me and you skipping down the road together and right, guys like that's the that's like the bipolar part that I like. It's hypomanic, but it's not crazy, and you're just like, let let's hold hands, is skip down the road together and Giggle. You know, I like two young girls Giggling, for these are the giggly times, right, because you know the darkness is somewhere around there and we've all experienced the darkness, and that's the thing, right, is that's we've we've been to all of the different locations, whereas a lot of people's there, their band withth is very limited as with regards to their emotions. So finding people that are a little spazzy, I love it, and also trying to pull people out of the mud. Sometimes there's some people like a throw them a little purple heart or some Shit. I don't care. Like it's free on twitter to try to help somebody that's being pressed, although I mean granted, if they're if that's all their account is, eventually mute them. Sorry, but yeah, there's only so much pulling people out of the mud I can do, because I got to go back to being slightly slightly upbeat it. Yeah, I mean it's I like my mom always told me I should miss my calling, being a therapist, and I'm like, no, I don't. I only help people that I care about because I because I can't do it. It just yeah, no, it just I don't want to do it on command or for money. Well, we know, it's just we have to really, really edit what comes into our life because it just it affects us so deeply that it does. I yeah, I mean I would be if I had to like work with, you know, like people have been through war, some sort of traumatic event. I wouldn't be able to function because I would I would take that into my being in situated I wouldn't be able to live. Yeah, for sure, same thing. I'm a strong believer of this old quote from, I think, a famous football coach named Jim Ron said you become the average of the five people that you're around the most. Well, if you're if you're alone therapist and you're around mentally ill...

...people most of the day, well, you're going to absorb a lot of those neurosis yep rough. But yeah, I couldn't. I just couldn't handle my life being like that. Yeah, that let's let's wrap up. We've talked about a lot of things and you're always welcome to come back, let me know what you're up to, and I'll obviously see you on twitter. So if I see you doing something new, I'll probably reach out to you and say, Hey, you want to talk about that, but are there good ways or you're a preferred way for a listener to come check out your art? Right now? The polar art on twitter, I think, is probably it's not going to give you a comprehensive look at my artwork, but it'll be the best way to interact with me. The most comprehensive look on my artwork at this point will be facebook, because I try to. I try to. You know have her and honestly, if you do a google start search of my name is going to be a show load of stuff that comes up then. So that's a good way to see my work to and the different stages that it's gone through. That's fantastic. I look forward to go checking it out some more, like the stuff all you have up here on open sea. And you've got a great personality on twitter, so it's fun to interact with you. Don't take everything so seriously. You handle the ups and downs really elegantly, so I appreciate that and you've got a good sense of humor. So if you're looking for twitter people to follow, Marcy's a good one. Check down the show notes and you'll find the ways to find out how to hang out with her and also by your art. Very cool, marcid. Think you've covered everything. was everything like kind of as you expected? Yeah, you know why? Because I listened to your podcast and I was comfortable with your person I like basically, I someone that says talk a lot. Yeah, it was just the right amount. Yeah, I pretty much know that I'm going to get along with but, like I said, I listened to your podcast and I felt extremely comfortable with your personality and so I honestly was not very nervous. It was kind of a light minute of nervousness, but now I felt, once I heard your personality, as like okay, we're cool. So you know. You know, I was thinking of to what we should do next, like to up our game. So epic thundercat hadn't been on a show before and I don't think manic had either, and I also pretty sure a Conrad from outcast verse had never done a show. But now that all of us have talked on a mic and gotten that out of our system, I think we should all organize a twitter spaces together, like a mental health and at thing where, like you know, I want to do that. I wasn't really sure how to do that, but yeah, I actually really like, as a team, if we just like maybe all we all meet up on zoom or whatever ahead of time and just talked about amongst us and then plan a day and a time where we all like advertise to our promote to our own little twitter followers, because, jeezus five of US each brought five people. We got twenty five people on twitter space already. Yeah, no, I I. Yeah, I wanted, I I'm really, really want to be part of that collaborative community that I haven't been I have not been able to do that in real life just because in my my insecurity is about being around people, but in this particular setting really suits me. So I really do want to do I would really like to do, you know, okay, for sure, type of stuff and putting you down on my mine. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I am going to be communicating with you anyway via twitter. We hang out on twitter together. So yeah, that would be awesome because I think a lot. I want to do a twitter space. My friend and you wanted to do on. We all kind of want to do and I'm like, well, let's all plant together and be each other's back up, because five people shis people going into a in a start in the space together. When, when it starts instantly you see six little bubbles on the spaces, thing like Oh, that's popular. It's probably hoping in there. And since I know that all five of us can talk, we can hold...

...our own in a conversation, it's not going to be difficult to manage a twitter space. So that could be fun for all of us and I think that would be an awesome yees of our time. Yeah, I wanted to. I was wanting to do some sort of twitter for mental health, for people that have mental health issues. So, yeah, we're on the same the same page. I think they're and I'm pretty sure that she would be too. So yeah, killer. That's part of why I do audio only podcast to is that we could still be ourselves. We could show up like like say, to show up naked or, you know, our bathrobes or whatever people show up in. I'm like, just just be you, because there's, well, in the mental health spaces, a lot of people that have image issues too. They think they're ugly, they think they don't look right, they don't think they'll fit in and and man, but they all have a voice. Everyone has a voice and once you're able to cut free and like realize that, hey, my voice holds up with that person's voice, just like you know, I think it's magical. So I really appreciate your time. Thanks for coming on and into the EMO Dojo here and hanging out with me. You're always welcome back and I'll keep retweeting your stuff, for sure. So to anybody listening, just go down and check out these show notes below, and I'm going to share this a bunch of times. I'd usually spend this a couple times on twitter and then I spend five or six more times automated for the next several days. It just comes out in the middle of the night, middle of the day, so I'm not on twitter as much as it looks like a lot of my poster automated, but I will definitely, Oh yeah, promote the promote this quite a bit and anytime I see your stuff I typically hit the little ringer bell on your account so that I know when you're posting a might seem like I'm stalking you, but it just because I only I only set the ring around like five people's stuff, so I be true, true. All right, man, thanks, I really do appreciate yeah, it's pleasures all my and I definitely definitely want to keep in touch and work on them stuff together. Okay, killer, sounds good and having awesome rest of your Sunday, get true. Okay, all right, but black and now back to the wall.

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